I hope you’re okay
An image of you fluttered by
In my head
Your blue eyes
Your hair
Either unkempt with a clip
Or your signature ponytail
Both dirty blonde
You were always soft spoken
But your laugh
A soft, yet louder boom
One often heard
As we watched American Horror Story
In your living room
Though I never really wanted to
But you did
So I did
I was content with your happiness
As your friend
I hope you’re okay
As I sat watching
The girl on the screen
As she guzzled her troubles away
My mind flashed back
To that one night
A night full of laughter
Ample spirits in hand
The night you confessed
Confided in me
Reasons you never say no to a drink
Sorrow filled eyes
As you stared into your cup
A brief moment of uncertainty
On your part
You cut it with a smile
But I knew you weren’t okay
I followed up with a reply
Told you
You managed to find the tricky parts
Of a drink
Parts that want to consume you
Forcing you to sip away
Until you forget
Forget how many
Forget your name
Forget how sweet you are
Making you fortifyingly aggressive
I made sure you were okay
Celebrating with you
A ritual now
But all the while attentive to detail
We inhibited thought together
On happy occassions
Emotionally processed them
When it was not
I looked after you when we were together
But those other times
I worried when you were alone
From the moment I met you until you left
I called you “favorite person”
Because I knew that you were
Even after you left
I found myself
Missing our American Horror Story nights
The most
My only message for you Sydney
Several years later
I hope you found someone
To fill in for me
When you feel like drinking alone
And of course
I hope you’re okay.
Tedra