mixed signals

{Artwork by Tess Emily Rodriguez}

It’s not you 

It’s me

A trigger of splits and halves

I try to convey what I want to say

And end up with a laugh

I understand exactly what you mean

Sometimes a little too well

Which in turn puts me in my feelings

Giving way for no show

But a lot of tell

Trust me 

The looks are purely selfish

I thought of something

That led to this thing

And now I’m watching you intently

But to be clear 

My mind may have strayed far from me

But the gutter was always near

And it’s never the plan

I mean to indicate the likes thereof

All the ways I appreciate

The affection you parade when you want

Because saying it back

Puts a wedge in this finely tuned crack

Even when I told myself it won’t

Though it continues

To melt a little ice

Inadvertently defrosting

Adding somewhat of a color to my heart

You still surprise me

With knowledge

But it’s a wonder you listen at all

Because honestly I hear words

See you say it

And unfortunately 

Don’t remember half as much as you

Though I remember sixteen

So you keep Jonesy

And I’ll be

Nothing but Nikki with you

Although memory lane

Is just a jog away

And I’m pretty sure

It really isn’t me

It’s definitely, for sure

A third party

If not you.


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