I’ve been fighting the urge to text you
Just to text you
Simple words nonetheless
But fighting it
All day
All week
Because yes it’s been that long
And yet
You haven’t messaged me
And it made me ponder if a week, 7 days
Was indeed 7 days to you
Or maybe it’s a business week
And your office hours are 9-5
Which is weird
Because my office hours are from 8-4
And I know you know HR is open all weekend
So I didn’t shoot the text…
I’ve been wrestling with the notion
That maybe a call would be better
Since you viewed texts as trivial things
But I’ve never been good at dialing
Dialing numbers I never saved
Numbers that didn’t require quarters
Dialing numbers that just seemed
Too out of my way
Because that last day
We spoke of missed connections
And you said you’d call that day
Remember
So I was never gonna call…
I’ve been twiddling with the idea
That I want to see you
Tangibly
In front of me
Face to armpit
Because of the height difference
To get a better view of your soul
Since mine wanted to match vibes
Alas
It was thwarted too
As I remembered
That chasing pavements
Lead to unknown rivers and lakes
Or something I’m not used to
Like dialing out
Without qwerty keypads
Like sending single texts
That capture everything I want to say
Or like paying visits unannounced
When Aubrey has always said
That I could come and see him anytime
Especially when the party next door
So why would I visit…
Why should I twiddle
Wrestle
Fight
Against the fickle patience
Of a weak heart
That’s no longer concerned
About quality time
Or other love languages
That are irrelevant without
Visits, texts, or calls
So I will be quick
Quick to be the judge
Still, maybe done
Deliberating at 2am
What all of this means
And I can’t tell you
If I’ve reached a verdict yet.
Moe