Guard up
Guard down
You’ve become somewhat of a trigger now
I reminisce and get anxiety
I find your letters and dissociate quietly
Always too hesitant to leave
But dumb enough to fall laterally
Shit like that is the reason I need therapy
Lack of security leaves defenses low
Left with paper machete doors with glorified holes
That’s how toxic relationships work as far as collateral damage goes
New hair, changes with seasons
A new identity for fake ass reasons
A connection to mourn only left me grieving
Tried to peel off the scars
Cauterized and salted every wound
I didn’t know feelings left untreated would leave lesions too
Now I’m working on repurposing the fence
Intent to set new insulation inside hollow walls
Rebuilding up a fortified guard with brick
That way it’s sure to take us both out the next time it falls.
{Picture courtesy of Lost In Thought by Leslie Donofrio}