Decisions

I’m not one for taking too much time with relationship decisions. I put more thought into these types of decisions, but if I take too long I end up indecisive. I’ve been in a relationship for a few months now, but before this year, I hadn’t been in one for 5 years. In 5 years of being single, you discover a lot of things about yourself. I could write on a piece of paper what I expect from everyone with a heavily detailed list for someone I’m dating. And it’s nothing unrealistic. They’re things I’ve received from people already willing to offer me those things. Now the problem is one decision. I’m stuck between wanting to desperately hold on and wanting to quickly let go. Having long history with someone is karma’s way of saying try again to me, and generally I don’t give second chances. However, I do have exceptions. He is the first. We’re at a point where I can clearly see I’ve grown to be nothing like the 16 year old girl he used to love and he’s barely hit puberty since turning 23. He knows me well, but I don’t think he understands me at times. I have trouble expressing myself properly like I’ve said before and he’s one person that’s always tried to help with that. But I don’t want to express myself to someone who wants the only concern to be on him at all times. It’s a two way street, but he’s been walking on one side for waaaaayyyy too long. So when it came time for me to look out for myself, I diverted paths and examined my options. The only question that I needed to ask everyone but me already knows the answer to: Should I stay or should I go?

Moe