This is just too much. Entertaining people for this long just to make them like you. Putting on your best parts of your personality to showcase the you in a new light. All for the affection of a stranger. It’s tiring at times…but then I realized that it’s not. It’s just tiring with the wrong person and people. I’m tired of making them laugh. I’m tired of pretending that it was way funnier than it actually was. I’m a cynic at times and I’m tired of meeting the overly gracious, optimistic idealist. I don’t want to continue to entertain the idea that they believe I need them to reaffirm what I know I am. And no, it’s not words of affirmation because you don’t know me. You’re trying to and constant reassurance of your thoughts is annoying me. And you guessed it, I’m ￼tired of being annoyed. I’m tired of acting like I don’t know exactly what you’re going to say or the direction in which the topic will turn based on just a few correctly placed words over casted by the wrong interpretations. I’m tired of it…and it’s annoying me…and ultimately boring. AND I’M EXTREMELY TIRED OF BEING BORED. 😒
That’s how I know it’s wrong. That or I’m destined to not be bored, annoyed, and tired in solitude.