History Behind “When You’re Not In The Equation”

“When You’re Not In The Equation” is a poem slathered with confrontation. It’s a conversation that doesn’t want to be had, but happens anyway because it’s confused. I could never understand how he could show affection and love, while at the same time make me question the validity of our relationship. I’ve always been a straight forward person even when the vulnerability starts to seed it’s way out of my throat, choking the air out of my lungs as it makes the ascent. So, it was a shock for me. I couldn’t grasp how he could beg me, literally, to be open, something I nervously laughed at while trying to do. Then, he turns around and has the nerve to feel conflicted with what I felt. I didn’t know how to handle it. And I raged the way they taught me…before actually having a conversation with him, who I no longer felt was the answer to my impossibly, simple equation.

Check out my poem: When You’re Not In The Equation

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